i suck.

After nine weeks of not posting, i come up with this. But seriously, check it out... so i was reading this fic. What it's about and who it concerns doesn't matter, so don't get scared. Anyway, this is a rather old fic and someone is talking to Tim Burton. Just dig this quote.

"You don’t think they’ll revolt because we couldn’t use Michelle again?"
I shake my head. "Nah... If they bought Michael Keaton as Batman, there’s no reason not to buy Alyson Hannigan as Catwoman."

*dies*

Current Mood: cheerful

Well, i found it, thanks to a friend on PonyIsland.

SIMPLE PLAN LYRICS

Welcome To My Life


Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Current Mood: amused

For those of you who haven't seen...

Photo Album


Stole a bunch of those pics. Thanks, bryirfox!

Current Mood: cold

Yeah, i'm a sucker for a gimmick.

Last night i went out without the baby for the first time since he was born. I stored up enough milk for one feeding and went to Perkins for a good 3 1/2 hours or so.
I drank coffee. Man, it felt good to be human. And without a screaming child hanging from my chest.
Next week i hope to store some more and go out to BWW and maybe -gasp- drink alcohol!!!

Okay, i admit it. I was a little glad to get home last night. He's awful cute when he's sleeping, you know.

Current Mood: hungry

It's 2:30 in the afternoon and i'm awake. This is not of the good.

Anyway, there's an memo going around work about Francis Yorgovan. In case you don't know, Franny (one of the gay club boys that hangs at Denny's, i work with him) got run over by a car on August 4th and he's in a coma. They've prepped him for long-term care and don't expect him to wake up for 6 months to a year, but he gives small signs that he can hear you when you talk to him. Anyway, he has no health insurance and the memo says that you can donate blood in his name and it will help offset the medical costs. No clue if this is through UNMC, where he's hospitalized, or what, but i'm going to try to get Bryce to do it. I obviously can't (they seem to take offense to having pregnancy hormones in the blood) but i at least want to spread the word.

Ah, the pup has heard the clacking of the keyboard and is requesting attention. I suppose i shall go oblige and try to snooze on the couch for a while.

Current Mood: sleepy

Got a rejection email from Cox. PayPal's on a hiring freeze. I'm trapped, trapped, trapped. I could just scream.

Why the hell wouldn't Cox hire me?

Current Mood: angry

I am in an emotional whirlwind at the moment, and the sinus infection isn't helping.

Let's see, i got a new tattoo! It covers my upper arm and features ponies from Escape from Midnight Castle. It's only the outline right now, but i'll try to post pics as soon as i get them from the camera. But now i won't be able to get it colored until next year because i found out for sure yesterday that i'm PREGNANT!

Yeah, this is where the whirlwind part comes in.

My husband is excited. My family and friends are, too. But it's really difficult for me to prepare for something good happening in the (seemingly) distant future. I'm only 2-6 weeks along, and i keep thinking it's too early for me to be excited yet. Too many bad things can still happen. I suppose this is the problem with not cultivating hope for the future and taking things one day at a time. Because pregnancy, well, it's all about future.

And what if everything does turn out okay and we *gasp* have a healthy kid? I can barely take care of my dog. She's chewing on things more than ever in the last week, right in front of me even! I have no control over her during walks or if she gets in the front yard. My house is a giant mess (partly because of her) and i'm so tired after working i don't want to do house work but i can't sleep because of insomnia so i end up on line and am entirely non-productive and then i get depressed because i'm a bad housekeeper which makes me even more listless and tired and now i'm nauseous on top of everything else and oh my gods and goddesses i'm a wreck. *takes breath* So how in the world am i going to keep up with a baby? I probably could if i didn't have to work, but we definitely can't afford that now.

My sister calling daily to harp on me about quitting smoking isn't helping, either. I haven't had one since i woke up at 10 but her calling is almost driving me to it. We never did get along.

Anyway, i am rather tentativly excited. Kinda scared to be, but there you go. If i can get this job i'm applying for i think it will help a lot. I really can't stay at my current one much longer. And i'm sure after my first doctor's appointment (Aug 2) i'll be able to relax a bit and really start planning. I just needed to get this all off my chest, sorry to ramble at ya'll!

Current Mood: nauseated

Poor Gypsy. We just got home from the vet. She's got a fever and she's dehydrated, and hasn't kept any food down for almost two days. They put her on some antibiotics, but we have to feed her barium tonight and get another x-ray tomorrow morning. She's a Lab (notorious chewers), so she could have some kind of blockage in her stomach or small intestine (both of which were full and swollen in today's x-ray). They're hoping that the barium will just pass through, and if it does she'll just keep taking antibiotics until she feels better. If not... well, surgery might be necessary.

She's just so darn quiet... it's not like her at all. I'm pretty worried about her. And this is really not going to be kind to our pocketbooks. I know that sounds kinda heartless and should be the least of the worries, but it's still gonna make it a bit tough for us. The shots she got today are making her pretty sleepy, so i think we're gonna take a nice long nap together. I just hope she'll be okay.

Current Mood: worried

Mocha Mudslide ice cream. Smirnoff ice. Aqua Teen Hunger Force on dvd. My favorite King novel. Full pack of smokes. A new filly on PonyIsland. A puppy to cuddle with when i snooze. A Bear to cuddle with when i wake up. A job that i don't have to go to tonight.

Some days, life is pretty good.

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: Make the homies say ho and the girlies wanna scream...

I haven't updated in a while, because i haven't looked at LJ in over a month. So if i missed some important posts, i apologize. I may check in from time to time, but i don't think i'm going to keep up with it as regularly... i just don't have the energy or the interest.

Let's see, anything new? Shannon will have her baby next monday. I'm excited to have a niece closeby.
Bryce is going to help me with a resume so i can apply at PayPal because i'm sick of my job. Unfortunately i can't quit until i know i'm hired.
May see Emily again this weekend, this time meeting each others' menfolk.
The rest is just general malaise.

Have fun, don't let the zombies eat your brains.

Last night was my Monday, and oh dear lord was it ever a Monday. I suppose a few of you were wondering why the hell i was calling in the middle of the day. Truth is, i had a rather blinding anxiety attack and couldn't sleep for wailing and sobbing. Damn brain just working overtime i guess. The details don't really matter at the moment. The point is, i didn't get to sleep until almost 3 and when i woke up at 8:45 my eyes were puffy, my voice was hoarse, my back felt like it was about to give way, and those stupid bloody cysts were giving me trouble again(yes, i made an appointment).

Fortunately Mechele was there for a short meeting with someone else when i got to work. She saw how awful i looked and, after questioning what was wrong and asking if i'd be okay working alone, told me she'd have Mikey check up on me later. So later he came down and helped out for a minute, but of course he had a horrible cold and was still a little depressed from putting his beloved dog down a week ago. We made a great team.

Then i came home and the dog pissed on the carpet because i read a book instead of playing with her.

The moral of the story is: I'm going to bed in a minute, and i'm very happy about it.

Why is everyone on god's green earth being a fucktard lately? Even my usual anti-drama solace fell through this week. Plus i'm mildly irritable (just ask Bear) because my emotions are dipping again... If someone pushes me hard enough i just might speak my mind and instigate more petty bullshit. Hopefully i'll calm down by Oscar night.

Current Mood: irritated

Frozen rain. Bah. There's a girl who works mornings at Panera who isn't the brightest crayon, and after i came back inside from taking the trash to the dumpster she looked at the white powder on my coat and said, "Is it snowing?" I promptly said, "No. I have periodic explosive dandruff." I almost wanted to say 'here's your sign.' But i knew she wouldn't get it.

For Christmas one of Bryce's relatives sent us an honest-to-god real-live fruitcake. I swear i thought those things were myths. It has been sitting on our counter and i suddenly got curious this morning. They really can't be as bad as everyone says, right? I can't believe the hype, i had to find out for myself. I poked at it. It seemed kinda soft, not the reputed brick i'd expected.

For the record, i've never been fond of pecans and many of you know this. However, i'm not entirely violent about it, i'll let one slip by here and there. Not like yams or something. Mostly i just don't care for the airy texture of raw pecans. Texture is probably the most important aspect of food to me.

The texture of the fruitcake didn't seem too bad. So i cut a tiny slice (no reason to lose my head, after all) and took a nibble. Hmm. Very sweet. And nutty. And cloying...

It was one of the most horrible things i've ever had in my mouth. And those of you that know me realize what a profound statement that is. Almost an hour later and i'm still trying to get rid of the taste. The piece i had wasn't even an inch square and i couldn't finish it.

Oh, and before that i fell asleep on the couch and the dog jumped up to get my attention and punched me in the eye. She gave me lots of kisses to make up for it, and at least she didn't pee on my foot this time, but still. I think it's time to go to bed.

Current Mood: cold

Bummer, i really wanted to go out last night and i slept through the whole night. Again. I hate when that happens. When are they going to make new and better humans that don't need sleep? At least, not so much. Now i'm going to be depressed all week.

I should stop depending on people calling me and waking me up. I mean, they usually do, but it seems like they decide not to when i REALLY want them to. I should have set my alarm.

Yeah, i know, no one called because it was my first V-Day as a married woman. But it was pretty much a regular Tuesday night. Watched House and Boston Legal, got take-out. Bear gave me a message, but i think it was more because i really hurt my shoulder than any romantical atmosphere thing. In all, we had a great Valentine's evening just being together.

Damn, i need some coffee, though.

In happier news, i have new baby ponies! Check out my herd! Lennon is my favorite. Son of my own London Fog and a stud named Winston, which happens to be Johnny's middle name. And i'm drawing tattoos on the adults. This whole thing is fun, and much cheaper than buying real MLPs... not that i can break that habit. Bought 2 more the other day. When will the insanity end? When, indeed, will i get a Pony Room?

Current Mood: artistic

My car, Astrid, is in the hospital and won't be released until mid next week. When it snowed the other morning i hit an ice patch and rammed her tire into a curb, bending the axle. We decided to get the giant scrape/dent i got across the driver's side doors from kissing the corner of a building fixed at the same time, along with a couple scratches on the bumper and call it all one accident. Only one deductible. Over $3,000 damage, but we only pay 500. Of course, my insurance will go up, though. Fucking drive-thrus with sharp turns and cold weather.

Current Mood: annoyed

This is the first time i've been on the internet for almost a week cuz everytime i try to get on, the connection locks up or something.

Anyway, just wanted everyone to know i'm still alive. Had plenty of things to say when i couldn't actually post, but at the moment the puppy's crying is drowning out all my thoughts. Guess i better go let her out of her kennel and pay her some attention.

Making dinner for our little family is nice. Just some simple pasta, but it makes me happy.

I finally got off my ass and posted fanfiction. It's actually kinda scary, but i promised myself i would and i'll keep doing it. I know no one will like it, but there are other stories in other notebooks for other fandoms that i think might be recieved well. I'll be typing those up pretty soon. And no, i'm not posting a link.

Going to see Brokeback Mountain tonight. The Bear decided to come down with the plague during my vacation and his four day weekend. We were supposed to frolic together the whole time, but no, he just had to get sick. Today he's feeling a little better so i'm dragging his sick ass out of bed. At least it'll make me forget the Stones are in town tonight.

Hope everyone is happy and well.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Metallica - I'm Searchin' For Donuts...